It’s usually around this time of year when people realize they’ve really fallen off the train with their New Year’s resolutions. You started January with the best of intentions. You were motivated, energized, ready to finally change. But by March? You’re back to the same old routines and the same bad habits.
I’m not judging, because I’ve been there. But I also don’t subscribe to the belief that people can never really change. I think the people who peddle that belief aren’t passing judgment on others. They’re actually just limiting themselves and telling you what they think they’re capable of, which isn’t change.
I’m a firm believer that anybody can change. We can break our bad habits no matter how severe they are and no matter how long we’ve had them. The key is knowing how to approach it, creating a plan so you can sustainably eliminate those bad habits, and having the right motivation to keep you going when things get tough or when the novelty wears off.
As somebody who has personally overcome a lot of bad habits (and I mean a lot), today I’m sharing some of my tried and true tips to create sustainable change and break your bad habits once and for all.
First, Let’s Talk About Bad Habits
Before we dive into the how, we need to understand something about bad habits.
Having bad habits doesn’t make you a bad person. The best people I know have bad habits. Whether it’s biting your nails, overthinking situations, assuming you know what people are thinking, interrupting others when they talk, or scrolling social media when you should be working, we all wrestle with something. You’re not broken. You’re human.
With that being said, just because bad habits don’t make you a bad person doesn’t mean you should accept that you’ll always have them. Bad habits are called that for a reason: they’re bad. However big or small they are, they impact your life in a negative way. But you don’t have to live with them forever. You have the power to break them.
Here’s the thing about bad habits: they’re a lot like muscle memory. Your brain is a muscle, so the more you use certain pathways in your brain, the stronger they become. The longer you have a habit, the stronger the urge to repeat that habit becomes. This is why breaking a bad habit is really, really hard. But it will be that much more satisfying and rewarding when you do.
My Tips for Breaking Bad Habits
Tackle One Habit at a Time
Write down all of your bad habits and then list them in order from “easiest to break” to “hardest to break.” Instead of tackling them all at once (which is overwhelming and sets you up for failure), focus on overcoming one at a time, starting with the easiest.
You’ll gain a lot of self-confidence by overcoming one of your bad habits, and then you can use that momentum to tackle the others in a snowball effect. Small wins lead to bigger wins. Trust the process.
If you want help with this, I have a free tool that can guide you. It’s called “Your Change Map” and it helps you lay out everything you want to change and then put them in the correct order so you can create sustainable change. Reach out to me at rob@rbmitchell.com and I’ll send it your way.
Get Crystal Clear on Why You Want to Break Your Bad Habit
Don’t just say “I should stop doing this.” Dig deeper. How does your bad habit negatively impact your life? Write down everything you can think of. Get specific. Get honest.
For example, if you procrastinate, don’t just write “procrastination is bad.” Write down the real consequences: “I stay up until 2am finishing work I could have done earlier. I feel anxious and stressed constantly. I miss deadlines and disappoint people who count on me. I feel like a failure.”
Then set that list in a place you’ll see it regularly, like on your nightstand or your bathroom mirror. Look at it, especially when you’re struggling to break your habit. Keeping these reasons top of mind will help you stay diligent when your motivation starts to fade.
Start Noticing When You Do It
You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Identify your bad habit and start paying attention to when it shows up. Do you bite your nails when you’re nervous? Maybe you lash out when you’re criticized. Or maybe you procrastinate your work when you feel overwhelmed.
Start identifying what situations trigger your bad habit. What emotions precede it? What time of day does it usually happen? Who are you around? The more you understand the pattern, the better equipped you’ll be to interrupt it.
Replace Your Bad Habit with a Good One
Something I’ve found really interesting is that it’s a lot easier to “replace” a bad habit with a good one than to just break the bad habit cold turkey.
I would brush my teeth. The tooth pasted gave my taste buds flavor. I had another craving later that night, I would brush my teeth again. In six months I lost 15 pounds, just by brushing my teeth instead of eating late night snacks.
It allowed me to use the energy created by the urge and redirect it toward something beneficial, which helped better satisfy the desire to perform the bad habit. Your brain wants to do something. Give it something productive to do instead of just telling it “no.”
Make It Harder to Do the Bad Habit
We’re creatures of convenience. If a bad habit is easy to do, we’ll keep doing it. So make it harder.
If you spend too much time on your phone, put it in another room when you’re trying to work, better yet, turn it off. The texts and voicemails will be there when you turn it back on. If you eat junk food late at night, don’t buy it at the grocery store. If you skip workouts because you talk yourself out of it in the morning, lay out your workout clothes the night before and sleep in them if you have to.
Remove the friction from good habits and add friction to bad ones. It’s simple, but it works.
Tell Someone About Your Goal
There’s something powerful about saying your intentions out loud to another person. It creates accountability. It makes the goal real instead of just a thought floating around in your head.
Find someone you trust and tell them what you’re trying to change. Ask them to check in on you. Give them permission to call you out when you slip back into old patterns. You don’t have to do this alone, and honestly, you shouldn’t. We all need people in our corner reminding us who we’re trying to become.
Expect Setbacks and Plan for Them
You will mess up. You will have moments where you fall back into the old habit. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed. This means you’re human.
The difference between people who break bad habits and people who don’t isn’t that one group never stumbles. It’s that one group gets back up and keeps going. When you slip up, don’t spiral into shame and give up entirely. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and start again the next day. Progress isn’t linear. It’s messy and inconsistent and that’s okay.
Hope for You
Bad habits can be broken, once and for all. I’ve seen it happen in my own life and in the lives of countless young people I’ve worked with over the years. The key isn’t willpower alone. It’s intention, self-awareness, and a refusal to let temporary setbacks define your permanent reality.
You’re not stuck. You’re not too far gone. And it’s not too late to change, whether it’s March or July or December. Start with one habit. Make a plan. And take the first step today.
